She does all her Pesach shopping for next Pesach the night after Passover ends, to get all essentials on sale.
She has called you 6 times today just to ask you how your day is going and it's only 8am.
She brings 2 extra empty suitcases on vacation exclusively for the Hotel soaps and shampoos.
She goes to the doctor for any small thing, but mostly just to give out her daughter's picture to single MDs.
She's 3rd cousins with everyone reading this email.
She cried at your bar/bat mitzvah, primarily because you weren't engaged yet.
She treats all three cleaning ladies like family.
When I asked her what she's doing tonight, she responds, "Last night, I went to the movies."
She hoards Sweet N' Low packets in her pocket book, even though she has a box at home.
She always has leftovers wrapped up to go, including that of the table next to yours (What, I should let this go to waste?).
She cried at your graduation, primarily because you weren't engaged yet.
She has no concept of whispering.
If she ever met Ghandi she would offer him a 7-course meal and not stop until every bite was finished.
She goes to the mikvah to do laps.
She has served you egg salad every week for ten years, because you once said you loved egg salad when you were 6.
She got mad because you bought a fax ...at full price when you know that her cousins brother in law could get a better deal in Brooklyn.
She thinks Joan Rivers and Fran Drescher are annoying even though she sounds exactly like them.
She puts gefilte fish in your lunch bag with a little cup of chrain and 2 forks.
She has her wardrobe segmented by functions (frum, charedi, zionistic, modern, mixed dancing).
She encourages you to do whatever you want with your life so long as it includes Jewish grandchildren.
Anytime she hears a dish fall, she screams mazel tov.
When you give her Mothers Day gift you can faintly hear her muttering, "Just one grandchild, is that too much to ask for?"
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