EmptyNestrogen: Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
Peptobimbo: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence and improves flirting.
Dumerol: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music.
Flipitor: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
Anti-boy-otics: When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
Menicillin: Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person .......can we get naked now?"
Buyagra: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
Extra Strength Buy-One-All: When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
JackAsspirin: Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
Anti-talksident: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
Sexcedrin: Bedroom aerosol spray for men. More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
Ragamet: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.
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Always consult your family physician before taking new medication
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