Chain Letter Type I: Make A Wish!!!
(This Is Where You have to scroll down)
Really, go on and make one wish!!!
Oh please, they will never go out with you! Wish something else!!
Not *that* either, you freak!
Your finger getting tired yet?
You can stop now!
Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to a certain number of people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, you now, TillS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, TillS one is TRUE!! Really!!!
Here's how it goes:
Send this to 1 person: One person will be upset with you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
2-5 people: 2-5 people will be upset with you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
5-10 people: 5-10 people will be upset with at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
10-20 people: 10-20 people will be upset with at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
20 to 674,951 1/2 people: 20 to 674,951 1/2 people will be upset with you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
Chain Letter Type II
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who as no arms, no legs, no parents, and no pecker. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Starving Legless Armless Parentless Peckerless Little Boys from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.
Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder- if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly and a mad goat will ravage your dead body. Thanks again!!
Chain Letter Type III
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters.
So this is how it works. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:
Strange Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the side walk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drain pipe in a flood of poop, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she passed away. This Could Happen To You!!!
Strange Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both passed away and went to hell. They continued to suffer in hell where they were both cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen To You!!!
Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this. letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be Ok. Of course, there's the guy in Peoria, Illinois who Dill forward this on and then he married his secret crush, they moved to the suburbs, had 2.3 children and lived happily ever after.
Chain Letter Type IV
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.
Friends
- A friend is someone who is always at your side,
- A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like a wet dog,
- A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,
- A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
- A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your loser life,
- A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious dogs,
- A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English, no wait, sorry, that's the cleaning lady,
Now pass this on! If you don't, Satan will send dogs in heat to your room in your sleep!!